


Taking a Leap

by goldtoashes, heirsofbrokenlegacies (jarofhearts)



Series: Making the most of loving you [3]
Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Capture the Flag, Father-Son Relationship, Fingon Has a Crush, Gen, Good Older Sibling Maedhros (Tolkien), Pre-Slash, Soulmates, Years of the Trees
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:01:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28075140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldtoashes/pseuds/goldtoashes, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jarofhearts/pseuds/heirsofbrokenlegacies
Summary: During a game with his cousins, young Findekáno saves the day and then learns about some of his father’s worries.
Relationships: Fingolfin | Ñolofinwë & Fingon | Findekáno, Fingon | Findekáno/Maedhros | Maitimo
Series: Making the most of loving you [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2034202
Comments: 8
Kudos: 28





	Taking a Leap

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, folks, this is probably the story where it makes sense to include a quick reference list for names and nicknames - and also, the teams during the game they're playing.
> 
>  **Team A:**  
>  Celegorm = Tyelkormo = Tyelko  
> Aredhel = Irissë = Rissi  
> Finrod = Findaráto = Findo  
> Aegnor = Aikanáro = Aiko
> 
>  **Team B:**  
>  Fingon = Findekáno = Fin (or childhood nickname Finno)  
> Turgon = Turukáno = Turko  
> Caranthir = Morifinwë = Moryo  
> Angrod = Angaráto = Arto
> 
> The Ambarussa, Argon and Galadriel are not born yet. Maglor and Curufin were Not In The Mood (yes, little Curufin was opinionated enough by then to express that he'd rather _stay with his dad in the forge, thank you very much_.

One of the most simple and basic truths of my life is that I always knew. 

Of course when I was still a child, I had no conception of what it meant to have a bond or be married. But even when I was still growing up, my oldest cousin always had a special place in my heart, one that went far beyond the mere adoration of a child. Although it would be a lie to state that I had not constantly tried to gain his attention and approval back then. Especially when it came to all things requiring athleticism and courage, knowing that he had always excelled at them as well.

I remember one of those days, in the Noontide of Valinor, in the bright, golden, and carefree days of my childhood. My mother had invited her sisters in law and my cousins for afternoon tea, and although Nerdanel had excused herself, being too absorbed in one of her art projects, Nelyo had come together with Tyelko and Moryo, and Eärwen had brought her three boys.

Of course, as soon as we had dug into our share of honey cake, someone suggested playing a game of Banner. I would have loved to play in a team together with Nelyo, but being much older than all of us, he opted for the role of referee - something that, given our experience with previous games, was admittedly much needed. Last time we had let the two youngest among us vote the teams, which had dissolved into a fight rather quickly when Tyelko made snide remarks about how Arto and Aiko had voted Findo and me into their teams before voting him in. So this time, Nelyo had appointed the teams himself, and at least in the beginning, it seemed to have been the wiser choice.

“Ready?” Nelyo’s voice rang clear and bright over the expanse of the garden, and we all waited, in position. Some with a determined look on their faces, others a little wary, and little Aiko giggling softly in anticipation. “Go!” Nelyo cried, and instantly, chaos erupted.

I didn’t hesitate to make an immediate dash for the enemy banner. Being one of the oldest and fastest, I had a rather good chance of outrunning both my cousins and my siblings. And indeed, I had already made it across the entire lawn, easily sidestepping Findo, who reached for me with a laugh. With a triumphant cry, my hand closed around the banner pole. I turned to make my way back to our own base, glancing at where I knew Nelyo was standing to make sure he had watched me. Unfortunately, that brief moment of inattentiveness was enough for Tyelko to tackle me at full speed, sending us both to the ground. 

“Fin! Here!”

I just had enough time to toss the banner to Arto who had, apparently, followed right after me, and then grapple with Tyelko to keep him from immediately jumping to his feet and heading after the little one. 

There was shouting from the other side of the pitch where, presumably, Rissi was running circles around Turko, while I could see Findo trying to pry their banner back from Arto who was holding on as tightly as he could, with surprising success.

“Findo, take him down already! Stop coddling him!” Tyelko hollered while trying to shake me off, one hand tearing on the back of my shirt.

“I’m not!” Findo called back, mixing in with me yelling, “Hold on, Arto, I’m coming!” I gave Tyelko a shove that made him stumble briefly. It was enough for me to break free and make a run for my two younger cousins, Tyelko hot on my heels. A weight suddenly attached itself to my waist and thighs and I nearly stumbled again, barely succeeding in preventing myself and Aiko from flying to the ground, who was now clinging to me like glue. This gave Tyelko the advantage he needed to get to Findo before me and to recover their banner from a protesting Arto together. With a triumphant howl, Tyelko pushed the banner up in the air. “I have it! I have it! Rissi, get them!”

A quick glance to the other side of the field showed me that my sister was doing an excellent job of outrunning both Moryo and Turko, who were failing to get a hold of her and just barely kept her from reaching our banner. Findo was heading over to come to her aid, so once I had finally managed to shake off a giggling Aiko, I headed straight for Tyelko, as Arto was unlikely to take him down on his own.

It went back and forth like this for a while, a mad scramble for the two banners overseen by Nelyo who only called to us once not to pull any hair. Rissi snatched the banner eventually, helped by Findo, and the only reason she didn’t make it back was because I teamed up with Turko and Moryo against her. After that, we all needed to regroup and catch our breaths, and I found myself amazed that the game was still going this smoothly. Tyelko wasn’t even complaining about the little ones being more of a hindrance than any help, proving that Nelyo had done a great job of balancing out the teams.

However, there was bound to be something going wrong eventually. It happened when Tyelko had just managed to capture our banner and was trying to make a run for his team base. Turko blocked his way, trying to grasp the pole.

“Rissi!” Tyelko yelled, throwing the pole of the banner as one would a spear. Unfortunately, that was the very moment Arto tackled him from the side. It didn’t take Tyelko down, but instead of the pole flying in Rissi’s direction, it went straight up into a tree and the banner got stuck in the branches.

“Whoops,” Findo said drily, while Moryo rolled his eyes at Tyelko.

“What in all of Arda was  _ that _ ? Aren’t you supposed to be  _ good _ at this kind of game?”

“Shut it, it was Arto’s fault,” Tyelko shot back, though the way he was ruffling our cousin’s hair took the edge out of it.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get it back,” I said lightly, already heading for the tree before Tyelko or anyone else could beat me to it. Fortunately, I had already climbed that particular tree several times before, so I knew exactly where to put my feet and hands. 

The banner, however, had gotten stuck in a difficult place, quite high up and further away from the trunk where the branches were thinner. Shaking at the branch from beneath it did not help to free it, so I had to get closer, and further up. Furtively, I looked back towards the house to make sure neither my parents nor Aunt Eärwen were looking our way, because I was quite sure that especially my mother wouldn’t appreciate me climbing that high. Fortunately, the tree was not in direct line of sight of the terrace where they were still sitting, and it did not seem that they were paying attention at this time.

Nelyo, of course, had joined the others beneath the tree now.

“Are you sure this is going to hold you?” he called up, though he didn’t sound nervous about what I was doing.

“We’ll see,” I called back, giving him a grin through the leaves. “If it doesn’t, you’ll just have to catch me!”

And with that I carefully moved away from the trunk and along the branch that bent dangerously as I crawled further towards the banner.

“I think you were smaller when you last did this. Also, lighter,” Rissi commented from below, amusement clearly audible in her voice.

“You mean when mother told Finno  _ not  _ to climb that tree?” Turko added dryly.

“Oh shut up, both of you.” I leaned forward a little further, stomach close to the branch, until I finally got a hold of the cloth. It was thoroughly stuck though, so it took some shaking until it suddenly came loose and tumbled down to the ground under the cheers of my younger cousins.

“You did it, Fin!” Arto cried, with Aiko clapping his little hands, while Rissi, Tyelko, Turko and Moryo were already descending into a discussion about what Tyelko’s throw meant for the game, and how to continue after.

At the base of the tree, Nelyo was waiting for me, bright eyes fixed on me as I shimmied back, and his hands reaching up to help me down. There was a sudden feeling of warmth and giddiness in my stomach. Without thinking too much about it, I closed my hands around the branch and shifted until my body was dangling from it, giving Nelyo a carefree grin.

“Catch me!” 

Without waiting for a reply, I let go.

There was that moment of my stomach swooping as I fell, and then sure hands catching me under my arms, Nelyo’s body breaking my fall. I felt his chuckle right there in his chest against my side.

“Hello, little Astaldo.”

I beamed with pride at the sound of the name he had given me when I had been much smaller. I had tried to impress him even back then with all kinds of reckless stunts that might get his attention. And it felt so good, the way his silver-grey eyes were trained on my face, an affectionate smile on his handsome features. The feeling of warmth seemed to spread to every fibre of my body, a familiar sense of certainty, of all things falling into their right place whenever he held me and looked at me. 

“Hello Russandol,” I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck, not willing to let go of him too soon. “Knew you’d catch me.”

His laugh sounded soft and warm like honey and Laurelin’s light. “That would be quite the scandal if I dropped you, wouldn’t it?” He had never made me feel like he would rather I let go of him even after a hug, never minded when I lingered. I wasn’t surprised - surely he must have felt the invisible pull as well, the one that drew me inevitably towards him every time he was near. 

“Just so you know,” I muttered contendly against Nelyo’s shoulder, “I’m not that little anymore. Father says I must have grown half a foot since the  _ mellyrn _ last bloomed.” Looking at him, I couldn’t help but add with a broad smirk, “Maybe I’ll be taller than you one day. And then  _ I’ll _ catch you!”

“I will be glad and honored to have you catch me,” Nelyo replied, and though there was a smile tugging on the corners of his mouth, I knew that he was not mocking me. “But as long as I can carry you as easily as this,” and he emphasized by giving me a good bounce in his arms as though I was still a toddler like Aiko, “I think it is fair to say that I will still consider you just a bit small.”

I stuck my tongue out at him for that, but then gave him a broad, happy grin. “Fair enough. I guess if that means I can make you carry me around…”

“Does it, though?” He chuckled, and then adjusted his grip and slung my body over his shoulder. I laughed and playfully wriggled against him, but more to feel that he held me securely rather than in an actual attempt at breaking free. In fact, with Nelyo’s body so close to mine and his arm wrapped tightly around my middle, freeing myself was the last thing on my mind.

“Alright, everyone, let’s take a break and drink a few sips,” I could hear him call out to gain my siblings’ and cousins’ attention. He began making his way up to the house, easily carrying me over his shoulder, and I was mildly disappointed when he set me back on my feet too soon. The gentle tug he gave one of my braids as he did so often made up for it though, and I don’t think I could have given him a bigger and more stupid grin if I had tried.

The afternoon went by in a trice. We had some more tea and honey cakes up on the terrace, then played some other games, and way too soon, Laurelin’s golden light was fading into Telperion’s silver shine and it was time for my cousins to leave.

“You remember that you still wanted to take me riding, right?” I asked when I hugged Nelyo goodbye. “That dripstone cave by the sea you told me about, I’d love to see it!”  _ And I’d love to spend time with you soon without having to share you with everyone else. _

I would have never had to worry. Nelyo smiled at me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. “Of course I remember.”

“Come on, Nelyo!” I could hear Moryo call, but Nelyo didn’t even glance over his shoulder.

“We will arrange a date for it, and I’ll take you there,” he promised me.

“I can't wait,” I beamed. And I couldn’t help but look after the three Fëanárions for a while when they left in the glow of the mingling lights, Nelyo’s tall figure besides his smaller brothers who were - again - bickering about something. And for a moment, I felt something like a strange sting of envy that they didn’t have to say goodbye and could just walk home with him.

I felt my father’s presence come up beside me then, and for a brief moment, we both watched them leave. Then he put his hand on my shoulder and gave it a light squeeze.

“Finno?”

“Atya.” I blinked up to him and smiled. Even though there was no rational reason for it, I felt a little caught and thus just kept talking. “That was a fun day. I like it when we can all play together like that.”

My father gave me a little smile. “That’s good to hear. Do you want to walk with me?”

I nodded and so we strolled down towards the garden, my siblings and my mother having already retreated back into the house. It couldn’t be long until dinner, I thought fleetingly. But my father was looking the way he always did when he had something on his mind that he wanted to talk about, and so I gave him an expectant look.

He cleared his throat eventually, his hands clasped at the small of his back.

“I overheard earlier that you and Maitimo are going to ride out to some caves?”

“Yes!” I beamed at the thought of a trip with Nelyo, not bothering to hide my excitement. “He said there are beautiful dripstones in various colors to see there which have been formed over hundreds and thousands of years, and there are some that look like eagles and other things…” I stopped myself, sensing that he did not share my enthusiasm. “I may go, right? Please, atya!”

The question seemed to surprise my father - at least that was what I could read on his face as he looked at me.

“Of course you may.” There was more he wanted to say, I could see it. But it seemed like he also did not entirely know how to put it into words.

“What’s wrong then?” I asked, gently nudging his side. 

It made him smile again, though the thoughtful look didn’t leave his eyes.

“This will seem strange to you, what I’m about to say,” he finally replied. “I am glad that you’re good friends with Maitimo. But I would ask you to not forget all caution in it.”

“Caution about what? What do you mean?” His response surprised me, and I could see that my father looked vaguely unhappy when he sighed.

“Merely that it will be good for you to remember that Maitimo grew up differently than you, or your siblings. I simply do not want you to get hurt, Finno.”

“Get hurt,” I repeated slowly, looking at my father uncomprehendingly. “You think that Nelyo… Maitimo would hurt me?”

If anything, father only looked unhappier now. “No… not in the way you must think now,” he shook his head. “But unintentionally, maybe. Or even intentionally, if he’s ever pressed to choose who or what to put first.” There was a sympathetic expression on his face as he looked at me, and then reached out to wrap his arm around my shoulders. “I do not mean to frighten you. I might just speak from a place of unfavourable experiences.”

“You mean you and Uncle Fëanáro,” I mused, leaning slightly against his taller frame as we walked, making our way past the herb garden and around one of the many fountains. My parents had always avoided talking about this obviously sensitive topic before the children, and so did Maitimo. But it was an open secret that my father and his older half-brother didn’t get along. Even without the hints from the elves working in my father’s household, the cool gazes and the often condescending manner with which my uncle had always treated me and my siblings spoke volumes. If he minded us at all, that is. 

“What was it like, growing up with him?”

Father considered the question for a while, as I was used to. He always gave any serious questions I asked serious consideration.

“Difficult,” was what he finally said. “He guarded our father’s attentions very jealously, which I didn’t understand for a long time.”

“Was it because his own mother did not return from Mandos’ Halls?” I asked curiously. It was not easy to imagine my uncle and my father, those eloquent, powerful Noldorin princes, as children. “What did he do?” 

“I think it was one big reason, yes,” he said, and I wasn’t sure if I was imagining that his arm around my shoulder tightened just a little. “He was not always honest with me. And he… was always very talented with words, and with… making a situation appear as something not quite what it really was.”

“I think I understand,” I said pensively, thinking back on an incident when I had been at Fëanáro’s workshop together with Turko and our cousins. Our uncle had not missed a single moment to let us feel how unskilled and ignorant the two of us were in comparison to his own children. I still remembered Tyelko cackling, Moryo rolling his eyes but, more importantly, the mortified look in Nelyo’s eyes whenever they locked with mine.

“But atya… He’s not like the rest of them. Maitimo, I mean. I know he would never…” I struggled to find the right words, not sure how to explain it to him. “He’s my friend, he’s…”  _ … my soulmate, my other half,  _ **_mine_ ** _ …  _ I swallowed hard. “He cares about me. I know he does.”

"I do know he cares about you." My father's voice was warm, as was his hand as he briefly touched my cheek. "He is not his father. I would ask you to remember, however, that Fëanáro  _ is _ his father. Do you understand what I mean?"

“Yes,” I nodded, sure that I  _ did _ . “But… what is it you think I should  _ do _ ? I don’t want to… go see him less or anything.” Even to think of it made me feel unhappy.

At least my father's eyes were kind, understanding. He gave me a little smile. "I will not ask you to. For now, it eases my heart to know that you're aware. That you're careful. Promise me?"

“If it eases your heart, I promise I’ll try and be careful. Although you know… that is not necessarily my strongest suit,” I couldn’t help but add with a slightly guilty grin. But I did succeed in making my father laugh, and before I knew it, he had leaned down and hauled me up into his arms as though I was still a small child.

“Not your strongest indeed. But the one you will always continue to work on.”

“I will, atya,” I promised and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. And I meant it in this moment, to try and be careful, though I knew little of what it was I was promising at the time. 

And that when the time ultimately came, I would not have the heart to keep this promise.

**Author's Note:**

> So! Who caught the Easter Egg about Angrod and his strong grip / the "strength of his hands"? :D


End file.
